Tuesday 30 August 2022

Egg sketch

And then an observation on another oh so normal occurrence.

Bill: Hey, Ben.
Ben: Yeah?
Bill: You see that feathery thing over there?
Ben: You mean the chicken?
Bill: Yeah. You see the hole at the end of it?
Ben: You mean the beak?
Bill: No – the other end.
Ben: Ok. What about it?
Bill: Have you ever thought about eating what comes out of it?
Ben: <pause> You know sometimes I worry about you.
Bill: What do you mean?
Ben: Well, like last week when you pointed to a cow’s udders and said you were going to squeeze those dangly things underneath it and drink what came out.
Bill: So what? It all worked out, didn’t it?
Ben: By sheer fluke. It could easily have gone terribly badly.
Bill: But it didn’t. So I think I’ve got a good chance of being right this time too. After all, I’m currently on a 100% success rate.
Ben: But it’s nuts! I mean would you want to eat what comes out of my ‘other end hole’.
Bill: Ew! No!
Ben: There you are then.
Bill: Yeah - but you’re not a chicken. Besides I wouldn’t have wanted to drink what came out if I’d squeezed your dangly bits either.
Ben: There’s no need to be personal.
Bill: Well, you started it.
Ben: And I’m ending it. You can’t look at an animal and decide ‘I’m going to eat whatever comes out of its rear end.
Bill: I can to!
Ben: You can not!
Bill: I can to and I’ll prove it – watch!
Ben: No Bill – seriously. Please don’t.
Bill: Just wait and watch.
Ben: I don’t think I want to.
Bill: It won’t take long – look the chicken’s sitting down already. And it… yes! It’s done it. Right – you see this oval-ish thing that just came out?
Ben: Yeah.
Bill: Well, watch me cos I’m going to eat it.
Ben: (to himself) To be honest, this isn’t going as badly as I thought it might
Bill: Watch
<crunch of the whole egg being eaten at once>
Ben: So how is it?
Bill: Alright. Bit crunchy and pointy. The bit in the middle’s delicious though. I might give that bit another try.

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