The Last Rolo - Mercorabilia

I wrote this sketch today. 

F: I wuv you

M: I wuv you too

F: How much do you wuv me?

M: So much so that I’m going to give you… my last rolo

F: Aw, thanks baby

M: Because I know how much you wuv chocolate

F: <Pause> Are you saying I’m fat?

M: What? No! I was just saying you love chocolate

F: Which implies I’m fat

M: No it doesn’t! Of course it doesn’t. It just implies you have a sweet tooth

F: Because I like chocolate so much I eat it all the time and am consequently a huge porker

M: No I didn’t… Oh for pity’s sake <eats rolo> satisfied?

F: You ate the rolo

M: I know

F: You ate your last rolo

M: But you didn’t want it

F: I never said that!

M: Oh for f- fine! Next time we’re at the shops I’ll get you your own packet of rolos

F: Are you saying I’m greedy?

M: Oh bloody hell!