Operation sketch - Mercorabilia

Don't worry - no blood and guts involved in this one. Just a bright spark.

Dr A: Hello, Mr Body.

Mr Body: It’s pronounced Bodie, actually.

Dr A: Is it? Oh, I’m so sorry. Anyway, pleased to meet you Mr Bodie. I’m Dr. A and I’ll be operating on you today. Right – let’s take a look. Mmm. Mmm-hmm. I see. Well, Mr. Bodie. I’m afraid there’s nothing for it – we’re going to have to remove your leg bone.

Mr Body: You what?

Dr A: Well, it’s either that or your wish bone. And I think we’ve got a better chance of getting your leg bone out cleanly.

Mr Body: Oh, right. Well, as you think best. What are you going to use?

Dr A: Oh, I thought I’d just use these tweezers.

Mr Body: Tweezers?!?

Dr A: Yes. Well, it’s a delicate game, you see. (speaking more slowly as if concentrating) We don’t want…

*buzzing noise*

Mr Body: Ow!

Dr A: Oh no! I made your nose light up. Oh, well. Dr B – it’s your turn.

Mr Body: What?

Dr A: That’s how it works – I made your nose light up so it’s Dr B’s turn.

Mr Body: And how long is this going to go on for?

Dr A: Until we get it out, of course. Dr B – if you would.

Dr B: Right. Let’s have a look, shall we? Aha – ah yes. I see. It’s just a matter of-

*buzzing noise*

Mr Body: Ow!

Dr B: Nope. Dr C – all yours.

Mr Body: Look - can’t just one of you work on it at a time?

Dr A: Oh, no – that would be against the rules. Got to play fairly, haven’t we? That is the aim of the game after all.

Dr C: Yes! Got it!

Dr A: Oh, well done, Dr C. Right – what shall we go for now?

Dr C: What about the arm bone?

Dr A: Jolly good idea. Just lie still, Mr Bodie – this won’t take a minute.

*buzzing noise*

Mr Body: Ow!

Dr A: Or maybe it will.