From The Mind of Merc - Helmets

Sometimes I find my mind wandering over various eclectic topics and occasionally I am inspired to write some of them down. Today I was thinking about cycle helmets. To my mind, there is no reason why someone wouldn’t wear a cycle helmet.

The only excuses I’ve ever heard run as follows:

-    It’ll mess up my hair 

      – And an accident will mess up your head

-    It’s inconvenient 

      – Not as inconvenient as a brain injury

-    It’s uncomfortable 

      – Find one that isn’t (Also, if it’s uncomfortable, that could well mean it doesn’t fit properly)

-    It’s not a legal requirement 

      – Neither were seatbelts in cars but you wouldn’t dream of travelling without one of those nowadays

-    If it were it would mean less people would cycle 

      – It would also mean less people would die

-    It’s not cool 

      – Neither’s a coma

-    I can’t afford one 

      – Can you afford the medical and rehabilitation bills for a brain injury?

-    It’ll never happen to me 

      – Tell that to the people who thought the same (oh wait, you can’t)

They were not invented as an inconvenience or time waster – they were invented as a life saver and they do exactly what they’re supposed to do.

According to statistics, cycle helmets reduce the risk of serious head injury by up to 88%. What this effectively means is that in an accident, if you’re wearing a helmet, you have an 88% less chance of dying.

In case you hadn’t noticed – a car is a lot harder than you or your bike. In a fight between you and a car – you will come off worst. Why would you run the risk of permanent debilitating injury and the implications that can have for you and your family for the sake of wearing a small domed-shaped object on your head?

For further examples of why helmets are so important, visit this page: https://www.buzzfeed.com/daves4/helmets?utm_term=.kv8ANkVQe#.norK8aNXE

Still think they’re a waste of time, money, effort?

Blackadder Ghoti sketch - Mercorabilia

How do you pronounce ghoti? Most people would probably think you pronounce it the same as a small pointed beard (goatee) but there are some who would disagree with you. Including a member of a certain infamous historic dynasty.

Blackadder: Right Baldrick, let's try again shall we? This is called alternative spelling. If I have a g, an h and an o, and then I add a t and an i, what do I have?

Baldrick: A ghoti.

Blackadder: Yes... and no. Let's try again shall we? I have a g, an h and an o, then I add a t and an i. What does that make?

Baldrick: A very strange word.

Blackadder: Baldrick, any George Bernard Shaw fan can master this. Now try again. F-i-s-h. So how do you say it?

Baldrick: Ghoti.

Blackadder: What?

Baldrick: ...ish.

Blackadder: Ghoti ish. So if it’s not ghoti ish but sounds similar to it, what is this word?

Baldrick: Oh! Ghoti.

Blackadder: Yes. To you Baldrick, the English spelling reform was just something that happened to other people, wasn't it?

Disney Life Hacks #6 - Roger

A return to my Disney Life Hacks series today - those little tricks the Disney stars use to achieve the unlikely, unbelievable and impossible.

Today, Roger from 101 Dalmatians shares his top tip:

Stormtrooper sketch - Mercorabilia

(Meant to post this yesterday but twas my birthday so got a bit distracted)
It's Star Wars Day! (Well, it was) So I thought I'd post this recent creation. It's inspired by the brilliant Mitchell & Webb Nazis sketch (more commonly referred to as the 'Are We The Baddies?' sketch). Basically I figured that this was a conversation that 2 of Darth Vader's Stormtroopers could easily have - if you changed a few words around...

Stormtrooper #1: Very well. They’re coming. Now we’ll see how these Rebels deal with a crack Imperial division.
Stormtrooper #2: Er, Dave.

Stormtrooper #1: Have courage, my friend.

Stormtrooper #2: Yeah. Er, Dave, I’ve just noticed something.

Stormtrooper #1: These rebels are all cowards.

Stormtrooper #2: Have you thought about our ship recently?

Stormtrooper #1: Our ship?

Stormtrooper #2: The name of our ship. Have you thought about it?

Stormtrooper #1: What? No. A bit.

Stormtrooper #2: It’s called the Death Star. Have you noticed that our ship has actually got the word Death in its title?

Stormtrooper #1: I – I don’t, er…

Stormtrooper #2: Dave, are we the baddies?

Stormtrooper #1: No…. I shouldn’t have thought so… I mean…

Stormtrooper #2: Why Death though?

Stormtrooper #1: What?

Stormtrooper #2: Why Death?

Stormtrooper #1: Well, maybe it’s the death of our enemies.

Stormtrooper #2: Maybe. But is that how it comes across? I mean, it doesn’t say next to the name, you know, yeah - it says Death but it’s our enemies not ours.

Stormtrooper #1: Well, no, but…

Stormtrooper #2: I mean, what does Death make you think of? Pain, misery, suffering, er, graveyards?

Stormtrooper #1: Graveyards are peaceful!

Stormtrooper #2: But they’re not exactly good, are they? Peaceful or not graveyards are still not where you want to be. I just can’t think of anything good about being in a ship called Death.

Stormtrooper #1: What about the Star bit?

Stormtrooper #2: Even that is usually a lot better when it doesn’t have Death in front of it. Whereas the rebels…

Stormtrooper #1: Oh you haven’t been listening to Rebel propaganda. Of course they’re going to say we’re the bad guys.

Stormtrooper #2: But they didn’t get to design our flagship. I mean their ships have all, you know, quite nice names – millennium, falcon, starfighter…

Stormtrooper #1: What’s so good about a starfighter?

Stormtrooper #2: Well, nothing. But it’s not particularly brilliant if you happen to be on board a ship called a Death STAR.

Stormtrooper #1: Good point.

Stormtrooper #2: But you’ve got to say it’s better than Death. I mean, I really can’t think of anything worse as a name than Death.

Stormtrooper #1: How about Hell?

Stormtrooper #2: Yeah. And if we were fighting an army flying in a ship called The Hell Pit I’d probably be a lot less worried, Dave.

Stormtrooper #1: Ok. So…

<quickly run away> 

The original version of this sketch can be found here.