From The Mind of Merc - Bees

Sometimes I find my mind wandering over various eclectic topics and occasionally I am inspired to write some of them down.  Today I was thinking about bees.I recently heard about Gwyneth Paltrow’s latest hairbrained scheme/beauty treatment (as if the Sex Dust wasn’t bad enough) which basically involves ‘allowing’ bees to sting her as this ‘reduces inflammation’

This is wrong in a number of ways and on a number of levels:
1) Think there’s a wire crossed somewhere as bee stings cause inflammation – have you ever been stung by a bee and NOT had a red mark flare up as a result?
2) Bees do not want to sting people – if they sting people they die so you are not ‘allowing’ them to sting you – you are forcing them to and consequently killing them
3) Given the endangered status of the bee population and the importance of bees in our lives (no bees basically means no food) by what stretch of the imagination is indulging in a ‘therapy’ that kills bees a good idea?!?

We need bees – not to sting us for some kind of twisted beauty treatment – but because they provide us with most of our food by pollinating the plants that we get them from.
And anyone who says they don’t pollinate cheeseburgers, please work backwards from that:
Bees pollinate the grain that is used to feed the livestock that will become your hamburger. Not to mention the bread in the bap you put it in and the tomatoes in the sauce you add to it.

If you want a bee-related beauty treatment, take up bee-keeping and utilise the honey or royal jelly they produce – both of which have proven health benefits. The former possessing an antiseptic for treating wounds, being stuffed with antioxidants which improve memory and overall health and acting as an effective cough suppressant and allergy reliever while the latter is speculated to have a use in treating cholesterol levels, osteoporosis, diabetes, skin inflammation and even cancer.
Becoming an apiarist would also mean you’d be helping to increase the dwindling bee population (and following in the footsteps of people like Sherlock Holmes, Aristotle, Morgan Freeman and Scarlett Johanssen)

Wasps, on the other hand, are evil and should be exterminated but this should not be done at the expense of or in ways which harm bees – such as pesticides (to which bees are particularly susceptible).

So, in conclusion - Kill the wasps, save the bees and stop using them on a pointless, flawed, unfounded ‘beauty’ treatments!

Bard to the Bone - !!!NEW!!!

Today is the 400^th anniversary of Shakespeare’s death. And, to celebrate, here’s a parody song.

Bad to the Bone Bard to the Bone not by George Thorogood

Baby, haven’t you heard
The news is all over town
When it comes to writing plays
I’m the best that’s around
Others are jealous
You should hear them all moan
But I don’t care a jot
Because I’m Bard to the bone

Bard to the bone
Bard to the bone
B-B-B-B-Bard
B-B-B-B-Bard
B-B-B-B-Bard
Bard to the bone

I wrote two dozen plays
Before 1602
I'll write a dozen more, baby
Before I am through
I simply cannot help it, baby

I don’t want to atone

I'm here to tell ya, honey
That I'm bard to the bone

Bard to the bone
B-B-B-Bard
B-B-B-Bard
B-B-B-Bard
Bard to the bone

SOLO

I’ve written plays about kings
I’ve written plays about queens
Could write plays about kittens but
That just isn’t my scene
You know you can’t ignore it, baby

It’s a skill I’ve honed

I'm here to tell ya honey
That I'm bard to the bone

B-B-B-B-Bard
B-B-B-B-Bard
B-B-B-B-Bard
Bard to the bone

SOLO 2

And when I am on stage
Kings and Queens come along
They simply can’t resist
Got to join in that throng
It’s not hard for you to see, baby
That to success I am prone
I'm here to tell ya, honey
That I'm bard to the bone

Bard to the bone
B-B-B-B-Bard
B-B-B-Bard
B-B-B-Bard
Bard to the bone

Ribena - !!!NEW!!!

A little nonsense song just because – using a classic TV theme tune for a popular soft drink.
After all “A little nonsense now and then is relished by the wisest men.” – Roald Dahl.
 
Marina Ribena not from Stingray
Ribena, lovely Ribena,
What a super drink - one sip and I’m gone
it’s how drinks should be
Ribena, lovely Ribena,
You’re full of these blackcurrants that con-
tain vitamin C

You're the drink for me,
And certainly all I need.
I’m cured of my thirst for now,
Because you taste good and how.

Ribena, lovely Ribena,
Why can’t you be,
Just quite as healthy,
As you say you are

Last Seven Years (Oh W.T.F.) - !!!NEW!!!

Reading about the Civil War atm. Seems incredible that they went from 'we want to guide the king' to 'we want to control the king' to 'we want to kill the king' in the space of less than a decade - almost like a really bad hangover...

Last Friday Night Last Seven Years not by Katy Perry 
There's a feeling in my head,
And I’m slowly filled with dread
There is blood all round the room
And an air of darkened gloom
There’s a body on the floor
I can’t make out any more
Wait, I recognise that ring
OMG - think it’s the king!

Don’t know what went on
War went on too long
King’s dead?
No way!
Things got pretty rough
And somehow we took off his head
Woah

Last seven years
Yeah, we fought against the king
Wouldn’t let us do our thing
He needed remonstrating

Last seven years
Cromwell led us in our plot
Yeah, he helped to win the lot
Then we bought Charles from the Scots

Last seven years
We charged the king with treason
Can’t remember the reason
What’d we do to his person?

Last seven years
Yeah I think we won the war
Can’t remember any more
Op-oh-oh

Next seven years
Gonna win some more
Next seven years
Gonna win some more

Can’t believe what we have done
Monarchy is dead and gone
Know we wanted rid of Charles
Didn’t think it would go this far
Thought issues could be redressed
Then he fled from our arrest
This must have seemed rational
But how did we find the gall?

Don’t what went on
War went on too long
King’s dead?
No way
Things got pretty rough
And somehow we took off his head
Woah

Last seven years
Yeah, we fought against the king
Wouldn’t let us do our thing
He needed remonstrating

Last seven years
Cromwell led us in our plot
Yeah he helped to win the lot
Then we bought Charles from the Scots

Last seven years
We charged the king with treason
Can’t remember the reason
What’d we do to his person?

Last seven years
Yeah I think we won the war
Can’t remember any more
Op-oh-oh

Next seven years
Gonna win some more
(Gonna win some more)
Next seven years
Gonna win some more
(Gonna win some more)
Next seven years

Oh W.T.F.
Oh W.T.F.
Oh W.T.F.
Oh W.T.F.
Oh W.T.F.

Last seven years
Yeah, we fought against the king
Wouldn’t let us do our thing
He needed remonstrating

Last seven years
Cromwell led us in our plot
Yeah he helped to win the lot
Then we bought Charles from the Scots

Last seven years
We charged the king with treason
Can’t remember the reason
What’d we do to his person?

Last seven years
Yeah I think we won the war
Can’t remember any more
Op-oh-oh

Next seven years
Gonna win some more

Rasputin's Menu - !!!NEW!!!

In December 1916, Grigori Rasputin was invited by Felix Yusupov to dine at the Yusupov Palace - it was a meal that was intended to and succeeded in ending Rasputin's life. One has to wonder what was on the menu...