May I Have Some Water? - !!!NEW!!!

Inspired by the book 'Go The F*ck To Sleep' by Adam Mansbach, I present a song relating the struggles of bedtime for parents.

There's A Hole In My Bucket May I Have Some Water? not by Anon

May I have some water, dear Mother, dear Mother?
May I have some water, dear Mother, water?

       You’ve had some, dear Child, dear Child, dear Child,
       You’ve had some, dear Child, dear Child, no more.

May I have some milk then, dear Mother, dear Mother?
May I have some milk then, dear Mother, with what?

        It’s too late for milk, dear Child, dear Child, dear Child,
        It’s too late for milk, dear Child, dear Child, too late.

I need the bathroom, dear Mother, dear Mother,
I need the bathroom, dear Mother, to pee.

        No you don’t, dear Child, dear Child, dear Child,
        No you don’t, dear Child, dear Child, you don’t.

Please read me one more story, dear mother, dear mother,
Please read me one more story, dear mother, just one.

        No – no more, dear child, dear child, dear child,
        No – no more, dear Child, dear child, the end.
 
I’ve lost my new teddy, dear Mother, dear Mother,
I’ve lost my new teddy, dear Mother, he’s lost.

        He’s right here, dear Child, dear Child, dear Child,
        He’s right here, dear Child, dear Child, right here.

I’ve lost dolly too, dear Mother, dear Mother
I’ve lost dolly too, dear Mother, lost her

        I’ll go get and get her, dear Child, dear Child, dear Child,
        I’ll go get and get her, dear Child, dear Child, stay there.

I’ll come and help you, dear Mother, dear Mother
I’ll come and help you, dear Mother, help you

        Back to bed, dear Child, dear Child, dear Child,
        Back to bed, dear Child, dear Child, right now.

That is the wrong doll, dear Mother, dear Mother,
That is the wrong doll, dear Mother, not her.

        It will do, dear Child, dear Child, dear Child,
        It will do, dear Child, dear Child, it’ll do.

I’ve one more thing to ask, dear Mother, dear Mother
I’ve one more thing to ask, dear Mother, one more

        What is it, dear Child, dear Child, dear Child?
        What is it, dear Child, dear Child, what now?

May I have some water, dear Mother, dear Mother?
May I have some water, dear Mother, water?

The Gas Tap Won't Turn - !!!NEW!!!

After all the fun I had creating a Cabin Pressure version of 'There's a Hole in my Bucket' I decided to do it again this time using a classic comedy song by the classic comedy songsters - Flanders and Swann

The Gasman Cometh The Gas Tap Won't Turn not by Flanders and Swann

The gas tap won’t turn, dear Donald, dear Donald

The gas tap won’t turn, dear Donald

Won’t turn

Call the gasman, dear Michael, dear Michael, dear Michael

Call the gasman, dear Michael, dear Michael

Gasman

He’s pulled out the skirting boards, dear Donald, dear Donald

He’s pulled out the skirting boards, dear Donald

What a mess

Call the carpenter, dear Michael, dear Michael, dear Michael

Call the carpenter, dear Michael, dear Michael

Carpenter

He’s nailed through a cable, dear Donald, dear Donald

He’s nailed through a cable, dear Donald

No lights

Call the sparky*, dear Michael, dear Michael, dear Michael

Call the sparky, dear Michael, dear Michael

Sparky

He’s broken a window, dear Donald, dear Donald

He’s broken a window, dear Donald

That twit

Call the glazier, dear Michael, dear Michael, dear Michael

Call the glazier, dear Michael, dear Michael

Glazier

He’s messed up the wall, dear Donald, dear Donald

He’s messed up the wall, dear Donald

Look at it

Call the painter, dear Michael, dear Michael, dear Michael

Call the painter, dear Michael, dear Michael

Painter

He’s spilt quite a lot, dear Donald, dear Donald

He's spilt quite a lot, dear Donald

Oh no

What's the problem, dear Michael, dear Michael, dear Michael

What's the problem, dear Michael, dear Michael

Problem?

The gas tap won’t turn, dear Donald, dear Donald

The gas tap won’t turn, dear Donald

Won’t turn

(Ok - so I cheated a bit here using the Aussie term for an electrician but you've got to admit it scans better. And they did tour in Oz.)