Invention sketch 2 - Mercorabilia

Another invention sketch today by the remarkable Professor Useless...er...Eustace:

Interviewer: And I’m here today with Professor…Eustace who tells that he’s designed and built a brand new flytrap device. Professor Eustace – over to you.

Professor: Thank you. You see, this is how it works:

When this fly lands on the mat, it triggers the pressure pad which sets off the alarm clock here, you see, which is attached to this knife which moves back and forth cutting the string which releases the hammer onto the jack lever which is carefully positioned on top of a spring so the hammer falls repeatedly which pumps up the jack which in turn tips the fire bucket which then empties its contents onto the scales. These scales tilt to switch on the winch which retracts its cable which is tied around the trigger of this gun which fires to sever the rope that then drops the safe!

Interviewer: …By which time the fly has flown away.

Professor: (pause) Yes.

Interviewer: Why not just use a flyswat?

Professor: A what?

(thwack)

Interviewer: See?

Professor: You squashed my fly.

Invention sketch - Mercorabilia

Back to normal today and a sketch inspired by a combination of an infamous cartoon duo and a certain board game.

Interviewer: And I’m here today with Professor Useless…

Professor: Eustace.

Interviewer: Eustace – sorry. Who tells me he’s devised a revolutionary new mouse catching device. So, Professor, perhaps you’d like to tell us a bit about it.

Professor: Certainly. You see it’s quite straight forward. What you do is you turn this crank here – like this…(clanking) which flicks this beam (twang) which knocks the boot (clunk) which then kicks over the bucket (thud) releasing the bowling ball (rumbling) down the path and onto the slide (small thud followed by continued rumbling) where it knocks the pole which…oh…um…it seems to have missed the pole. Um…well never mind – we’ll try again. You see you turn this crank (clanking) which flicks this beam (twang) which knocks the boot…ah…well it – it should knock the boot. Um…let’s set it up again and try once more. So you turn this crank which flicks this beam which knocks the boot which kicks over the bucket - yes!- which releases the bowling ball down the path onto the slide where it knocks the pole which releases the ball - like that - which falls through the bathtub onto the plank which launches the mannequin onto the pressure pad which lowers the cage!...ah.

Interviewer: The…uh…cage seems to have got stuck halfway.

Professor: Yes…yes - very strange. I can’t understand why that’s happened.

Interviewer: Well, never mind, Professor. You’ll be pleased to hear that I too have developed a mouse catching machine.

Professor: Really? What is it?

(Meow)