This entry is inspired by the brilliant poem 'Dust If You Must' by Rose Milligan. Instead of referring to housework, it is altered to focus on another equally bizarre obsession that many women seem to have - dieting.
Dust If You Must Fast For The Past not by Rose Milligan
Fast for the past, but didn’t you know
You’ll lose your natural, healthy glow,
You think you need to shed some fat
(But) You’re beautiful now – remember that
Fast for the past, but you’re missing out,
There’s so many wonderful things about;
Some unusual and some sublime
New meals are created all the time.
Fast for the past, but just beware
That health and weight – there’s no link there
A diet can’t guarantee delight
There’s many an unhappy person who’s slight
Fast for the past, but bear in mind,
Those days are gone far behind.
(And) when you are old and looking back
Won’t you wish you’d eaten that?
In my spare time I write parody songs, sketches and captions which I’ve decide to post here on my blog. You’ll be able to tell my eclectic comedy taste from some of the references and I freely admit my influences include Spike Milligan, Ronnie Barker, John Finnemore and Michael Bernstein (my Year 8 English teacher). The blog title is from Queen Victoria being famously misquoted as saying “We are not amused” so I’m using the correct quote, as mentioned in her diaries, of “I was very much amused"
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