Tailgating sketch - Mercorabilia

Lack of internet after moving house and a short month have meant February's posts have all got bunched up at the end.
Oh well, here's a sketch I've been saving - hope you feel it was worth the wait.



Mr Gold: Come in HQ. Golf Tango calling HQ. (speaking in muffled voice) HQ here – over. (in normal voice) I’ve got a bogey on my tail. It’s a grey Vauxhall Astra – could be trouble, over. (speaking in muffled voice) Roger Golf Tango, can you shake him? Over. (in normal voice) Hold on, HQ – approaching a bend. *sound of screeching* (muffled voice) Golf Tango report – over. (in normal voice) Negative HQ – he’s still with me. Please advise…
Mrs Gold: What are you doing?
Mr Gold: What?
Mrs Gold: I said what are you doing?
Mr Gold: Well, I was just pretending, you know.
Mrs Gold: Pretending what?
Mr Gold: *clears throat* Well, there’s… there’s a car behind us and I, uh, I thought it could be cool if he was following us and we had to evade him – (sounding excited) as if we were on some top secret spy mission.
Mrs Gold: John, we are in a Ford Fiesta. I hardly think top secret spies go on missions or attempt to evade possible tails in a K reg hatchback!
Mr Gold: Well…
Mrs Gold: What’s more you are not a child – you are my husband and you are 35/41 years old. Don’t you think the time for pretending might be over by now?
Mr Gold: Yes, dear.
Mrs Gold: Right. Now let’s have no more of this.
<pause>
Mr Gold: *humming mission impossible theme under his breath*
Mrs Gold: John!
Mr Gold: What?
Mrs Gold: Will, you stop looking at your wing mirror!
Mr Gold: Well, I have to check my mirror, dear – it’s the law.
Mrs Gold: Yes, but that means checking it once or twice when making a manoeuvre - not every 5 seconds while driving along a straight road.
Mr Gold: Ok… But he is still behind us, dear.
Mrs Gold: I don’t care if he’s behind us, beside us or on top of us. He is not going to be interested in what we’re doing and his every move does not need to remarked upon in a running commentary. Understood?
Mr Gold: Yes, dear.
*binging sound*
Mr Gold: Oh – we’re almost out of petrol. I’ll just pull in here, dear, and get some more. (pulls into petrol station and gets out humming)
(As the sound fades the wife speaks hurriedly under her breath.)
Mrs Gold: Come in, Alpha Wolf, over.
Alpha Wolf: Alpha Wolf here, over.
Mrs Gold: Pull back – you’re getting to close to the target and we don’t want to make him nervous.
Alpha Wolf: Roger. Do you think he’s on to us?
Mrs Gold: No, don’t worry – I don’t think he suspects a thing.

That's Nothing Like A Vote on Brexit - !!!NEW!!!

Been debating about posting this for a while but in the end decided what the heck.

There’s Nothing Like A Show On Broadway That’s Nothing Like A Vote On Brexit not from The Producers

LEO:
The referendum’s over
The people’s poll is cast
Hooray for democracy
(Huh! How long will that last)

You're waiting for the score
This really is a bore
Surely it’s obvious?
Then your chin hits the floor

But that was
Nothing like a vote on Brexit
Nothing like a Brexit vote
Voters were deceived on Brexit

If you're feeling blue       
I'm telling you       
It really gets my goat       

MP’s lie, the people sigh
Can’t take any more
This can’t be true, (But) what can you do,

The people’s word is law.   

But that was
Nothing like a vote on Brexit
That’s nothing like a Brexit vote

MAX:
Some people say
The EU’s had its day
The Leavers repeat it en masse

But their motive is flawed
It's not above board   
It’s all about cov’ring their ass.

MPs want to be rich               
It’s all that they live for               
Who cares bout people who unlike them are poor       
Got it in their head that we could be led               

But by letting this run they opened up the door

The facts were f*cked
That bus just sucked
The campaign broke all laws   
And now it’s done you realise
They helped the racist cause

LEO:
That’s why
That’s nothing like a vote on Brexit.

LEO AND MAX:
That's nothing like a Brexit vote.

MAX;
You swore you'd never let it pass.
It simply is not the way

LEO:
You made that vow
and then somehow

LEO AND MAX:
Did not vote on the day.

That's why that’s
Nothing like a vote on Brexit

LEO:
That’s nothing like a Brexit vote

MAX:
Not leg’ly binding

LEO:
That’s nothing like a Brexit vote

MAX:
And though they won’t repeat it as they know their lies won’t float   

LEO AND MAX;
That’s nothing...
Like a Brexit vote!

From The Mind of Merc - Cat Contemplations

Today's thought is very deep, veru intense and almost inscrutable. It is this: