Little Miss Muffet Strikes Back - Mercorabilia

My mum was clearing out some old paperwork the other day when she happened across this creation of mine which I wrote when I was 17. As this seemed the apposite place to do so I thought I'd share it.

Little Miss Muffet Strikes Back
A spider was sat on a tuffet,
Eating some curds and whey,
Then along came Little Miss Muffet,
Who the spider had frightened away,
She wasn’t looking so frightened,
She wasn’t looking so scared,
In fact she looked a lot braver,
Than normally she would have dared,
She waltzed on up to the spider,
A big grin all over her face,
The spider looked cautiously up at her,
Slightly unsure of his place,
Then Muffet produced a big aerosol,
That gave the poor spider a fright,
The writing around it said ‘Pest Killer’,
And the spider’s black fur turned to white,
The girl held the can up in front of her,
And aimed it straight at the spider,
She had no regret or remorse,
She had none of that stuff inside of her,
Her finger pressed down on the button,
The spray came out of the can,
The spider smiled a huge smile,
And whipped out a portable fan,
The draught caught the mist ad blew it right back,
Straight into the face of Miss Muffet,
She cough and spluttered and choked on the smell,
And the spider hope she might snuff it,
But then his luck started to change,
As Miss Muffet recovered quite well,
And her anger was growing inside of her,
As clearly the spider could tell,
He gulped and he murmured and said a quick prayer,
As Miss Muffet put her hand in her pouch,
And from it she drew (this made the bug jump),
A thing that would make him say ouch,
It was a big hammer, a monstrous slammer,
That made the spider quiver with fear,
She raised it up high and sneered down at him,
His doom was now perfectly clear,
She brought it back down as hard as she could,
So incensed was little Miss Muffet,
The spider waited until the last minute,
And then jumped off of the tuffet,
He said “If you really want it that much,
All you had to do was ask.”
Miss muffet snorted “Well, really,” she said,
“That’s too much of an arduous task.”
The spider said nothing about this,
But gave her the curds and the whey,
Then with a click of his heels and a wave of a leg,
The spider scampered away.
Little Miss Muffet sat down on the tuffet,
And began eating her curds and whey,
She put down her spoon and said with a sigh,
“This has been quite a day.”

Disney Life Hacks #15 – Alice

Continuing my Disney Life Hacks series today - those little tricks the Disney stars use to achieve the unlikely, unbelievable and impossible.

Today, Alice shares his top tip: