They Did Not Start The War - !!!NEW!!!

I'm amazed satirists still have employment - you'd think the situation in the US is beyond anything any comedy writer could think to come up with. Like Trump's bizarre claim about who's responsible for the ongoing Ukraine-Russia conflict. Can you imagine a press conference about that in... say... Chicago

They Both Reached For The Gun They Did Not Start The War not from Chicago
Announcer: Mr Donald Trump and the press conference sham
Notice his Nazi never shows
Almost
Press: Where's he come from?
Trump: Soviet Ukraine
Press: And his problem?
Trump: War with Russia
Press: Why’s he here now?
Trump: To get our help
And we will grant him one more chance
Vance: If he will dance to Putin’s dance!
Press: When did it start?
Trump: 2022
Press: 3 years ago?
Trump: If you say so
Press: Who’s his rival?
Trump: That’d be Putin
He just wants what he does lack
To get his entire empire back
Journalist: Oh, you dumb slob, I can't believe what you've up to
You really think that we will believe what
you tell us Donny
So who’s Putin?
Trump: Russia’s leader
Press: Why'd you like him?
Trump: He’s a genius
Press: Are you serious?
Trump: Absolutely
He is so smart, he’s so savvy
Vance: And he’ll trounce Zelenskyy’s army
Press: Why d’you want that?
Trump: It’s what’s for the best
Press: Best for who though?
Trump: Best for US
Press: Will you help him?
Trump: If he helps us
Vance: They signed a deal they knew the score
Trump: And yet Ukraine started the war
Oh yes, oh yes, oh yes Ukraine
Oh yes Ukraine
Oh yes, Ukraine started
The war, the war, the war, the war
Oh yes, Ukraine started the war
Start the war
Press: Oh no, oh no, oh no Ukraine
Oh no, Ukraine
Oh no, Ukraine (did) not start
The war, the war, the war, the war
Oh no, Ukraine (did) not start the war
Start the war
Trump: Understandable, understandable
No, it's not at all understandable
Reprehensible, Reprehensible
Not a bit comprehensible
It's not defensible!
Press: What’re you doing?
Trump: What I’m told to
Press: Er.. I’m sorry?
Trump: Yeah you heard me
Press: What's your statement?
Trump: What I want is
Zelenskyy to do his bit
And make a new ceasefire a hit
Press: ‘Cause?
Trump: It’s best for him
Press: Why?
Trump: ‘Cause he can’t win
Press: Why?
Trump: We won’t let him
Press: What?
Trump: Not no more
Press: What? Why?
Trump: That's the thought that
Press: Yeah?
Trump: Came upon me
Press: When?
Trump: When Ukraine started the war!
Journalist: Understandable, understandable
No, it's not at all understandable
Reprehensible, Reprehensible
Not a bit comprehensible
It's not defensible!
Press: Oh no, oh no, oh no, Ukraine
Oh no, Ukraine
Oh no, Ukraine (did) not start
Trump: No – that’s not it!
Press: The war, the war, the war, the war
Oh no, Ukraine (did) not start the war
Start the war
Trump: You’re not listening!
Press: Oh no, oh no, oh no, Ukraine
Oh no, Ukraine
Oh no, Ukraine (did) not start (Oh no)
The war, the war, the war, the war
Oh no, Ukraine (did) not start the war
Start the war (Now you've got it!)
Oh no, oh no, oh no, Ukraine
Oh no, Ukraine
Oh no, Ukraine (did) not start
The war, the war, the war, the war
Oh no, Ukraine (did) not start the war
Start the war
Oh no, oh no, oh no, Ukraine
Oh no, Ukraine, oh no, Ukraine (did) no start
The war, the war, the war, the war
The war, the war, the war, the war
The war, the war, the war, the war
The war, the war, the war, the war
Trump: They started the
War
Press: (The war, the war, the war, the war)
(The war, the war, the war, the war)
(The war, the war, the war, the war)
(The war, the war, the war, the war)
(They didn’t start the war!)

From The Mind of Merc - Zelenskyy

Sometimes I find my mind wandering over various eclectic topics and occasionally I am inspired to write some of them down. Today I was thinking about the man that is Volodymyr Zelenskyy.

Ukraine's president is garnering almost universal praise for his response to Russia's unprovoked attack on his country.

As with last month's Mind of Merc post, I think the reason for this adulation can be summed up in one online image:

And what do we have?

Alexander Boris de Pfeiffel Johnson

A man who:

-      Got a ‘deal’ for Brexit by literally BREAKING THE LAW! And lied to the Queen about it. And it’s crippling an already damaged economy.

-      Failed to take COVID seriously and adopted ‘herd immunity’ when a vaccine was still unavailable. Then ensured his Tory donors and cronies got business deals out of it. Then claimed the resulting test and trace system was world beating when it never worked – which he blamed on the NHS. And now has started charging for LFT tests.

-      Denied attending a party in lockdown – during a time when the Queen attended her husband’s funeral alone – despite their being photographic evidence to the contrary.

-      Defended every two-faced, lying, cheating, bullying member of his cabinet – e.g. Dominic Cummings, Matt Hancock, Priti Patel, the list just keeps going

-      Failed to act on the potentially life-saving recommendations from the report into Grenfell (in fact the Tories actively blocked it)

-      Is still trying to sell off the drastically underfunded and undersupported ‘failing’ NHS even though it’s surviving despite his best efforts.

-      Believes MPs deserve a £2,212 pay rise (for doing b*gger all) but nurses only deserve 1% for getting the country through the worst of the pandemix. And also that benefits should be cut but his own salary is too low

-      Was exposed by Greta Thunberg for exaggerating the success of the UK’s battle with carbon emissions

-      Runs a government famous for U-Turns – exhibit A: school exam results (Btw, Gavin Williamson is still education secretary.)

-      Serial adulterer whose current partner believes setting up a charity to fund redecorating 10 Downing Street is acceptable.
(By comparison, Zelenskyy’s wife – Olena Zelenska (his first and only spouse) is refusing to leave her husband in a warzone despite being on a Russian hitlist).

 

No comparison really, is there?

F*ck You - !!!NEW!!!

And secondly, a message I'm sure everyone who is not the (inhu)man himself is screaming at the top of their lungs.
(Yes - I know I've used it before but it's equally appropriate).

F*ck You not by Lily Allen

Look outside, look outside your tiny mind, and see what you’re doing
'Cause you’re not so macho
Just an asshole
With all the mis’ry that you bring 

So you say that it's okay to invade, well, we think you're just evil
You're just some dickhead causing all this bloodshed
Your point of view is disgraceful

Fuck you (Fuck you), fuck you very, very much
'Cause we hate what you do
And so does your whole crew
And no-one thinks you are butch

Fuck you (Fuck you), fuck you very, very much
'Cause your aim’s misguided
Need to be enlightened
You are just so out of touch

Do you get, do you get a little kick out of being so heartless?
You want to be a dictator, think glory will come later
Well, that's not how you find it

Do you, do you really enjoy living a life that's so hateful?
'Cause there's a hole where your soul should be
You're heading for World War Three, and it's all avoidable

Fuck you (Fuck you), fuck you very, very much
'Cause we hate what you do
And so does your whole crew
And no-one thinks you are butch

Fuck you (Fuck you), fuck you very, very much
'Cause your aim’s misguided
Need to be enlightened
You are just so out of touch

Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you
Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you
Fuck you

You say, you think you need to go to war, well, nobody wants one
'Cause it's people like you that need to get slew
We all want you to do one

Fuck you (Fuck you), fuck you very, very much
'Cause we hate what you do
And so does your whole crew
And no-one thinks you are butch

Fuck you (Fuck you), fuck you very, very much
'Cause your aim’s misguided
Need to be enlightened
You are just so out of touch

Fuck you, fuck you
Fuck you, fuck you
Fuck you, fuck you
Fuck you, fuck you
Fuck you, fuck you
Fuck you, fuck you