The One That You Forgot - !!!NEW!!!

Thought I'd take a break from my topical compositions and return to my parody-writing roots with a song about the infamous Other Boleyn Girl. Hope you enjoy!

The One That Got Away You Forgot not by Katy Perry 

I was newly married, when we first met
You’d just finished with Bessie - on me you were set
And it seemed not long after, I became your mistress

You wooed me into your arms with all the things you said
All the gifts and rewards they went to my head
Who was I to know that you’d cause such distress

In another world, I would be your wife
You would never leave me no, we’d be married for life
In another world, I would win your heart
So nobody would say I was the one that you forgot
The one that you forgot

Gave birth to a daughter called Catherine
My husband had to accept my life of sin
And then eventually, I gave birth to your son, oh

But by now it seemed that I was too late
My sister wanted to be great
She turned your head with words and I soon found you’d gone

In another world, I would be your wife
You would never leave me no, we’d be married for life
In another world, I would win your heart
So nobody would say I was the one that you forgot
The one that you forgot

The one, the one, the one
The one that you forgot

After all that you did to set yourself free, oh
She couldn’t give you a son you see, no
I bet you wish that you had chosen me, whoa
And soon she paid the price

In another world, I would be your wife
You would never leave me no, we’d be married for life
In another world, I would win your heart
So nobody would say I was the one that you forgot
The one that you forgot

The one (the one)
The one (the one)
The one (the one)

In another world, I would win your heart
So nobody would say I was the one that you forgot
The one that you forgot

The One That Got Away - !!!NEW!!!

Bit of a stretch of the imagination this one - imagine Commodore Norrington is Katy Perry.

The One That Got Away not by Katy Perry

Sailing round Port Royal, on my own ship
About to be promoted – was such a trip
And after the cer’mony, I’d propose to Liz Swann

Knew my star was on the rise now – oh, that was so true
Made Commodore - was nothing I could not do
Didn’t plan that that day I'd be facing you

With another chance, I would get my man
Wouldn’t let you defeat me, it would all go to plan
With another chance, I would make you pay
So I don't have to say you were the one that got away
The one that got away

You saved my love’s life – but that ploy fell flat
Stole a ship and fled - just how did you do that?
Once we beat Barbossa, to trial I brought you back, yeah

I let you escape when Will turned on me
Sure that soon after caught you’d be
But soon found out that was not to be my destiny

With another…

With another chance, I would get my man
Wouldn’t let you defeat me, it would all go to plan
With another chance, I would make you pay
So I don't have to say you were the one that got away
The one that got away

The one, the one, the one
The one that got away

All this glory can't help me in my revenge, no
Can't capture you with a million men, no
Never could have guessed what you’d do to me, whoa
You made me dance your dance

With another chance, I would get my man
Wouldn’t let you defeat me, I’d succeed in my plan
With another chance, I would make you pay
So I don't have to say you were the one that got away
The one that got away

The one (the one)
The one (the one)
The one (the one)

With another chance, I would make you pay
So I don't have to say you were the one that got away
The one that got away

Riding In A Whirlwind - !!!NEW!!!

(And now the trapped nerve in my neck has finally abated I can resume posting)
Following on the from the Katy Perry parody regarding Charles I, I had the idea for using another of her songs for the escapades of a young lass and her dog - only she's not Waking Up in Kansas

Waking Up In Vegas Riding in a whirlwind not by Katy Perry 
Where on earth now am I?
The colours are all so bright
We need a way home
'Cause we’re not in Kansas any more

Don’t know which way to go
Let’s go ask that old scarecrow
He looks unhappy
‘Cause he’s not so bright, you see
We’ll head off to Oz
To ask the wizard for help
Won’t you come with me
Remember what Glinda said
Just keep on and follow the yellow brick road
That's what you get for riding in a whirlwind
Go on and kill the west witch with some water, now
That's what you get for riding in a whirlwind

Walking through some dark woods
Nothing that’s here is good,
Except this tin man,
Who desperately wants a heart
We’ll head off to Oz
To ask the wizard for help
Won’t you come with me
Remember what Glinda said
Just keep on and follow the yellow brick road
That's what you get for riding in a whirlwind
Go on and kill the west witch with some water, now
That's what you get for riding in a whirlwind

Here comes a lion now
Worst trouble we’ve ever seen
Turns out that he’s not so mean
He’s just a scaredy cat.
We’ll head off to Oz
To ask the wizard for help
Won’t you come with me
Remember what Glinda said
Remember what Glinda said
Remember what Glinda said
She said, she said, she said
Just keep on and follow the yellow brick road
That's what you get for riding in a whirlwind
Go on and kill the west witch with some water, now
That's what you get for riding in a whirlwind
That's what you get Toto, kill the west witch, kill, kill, kill the worst witch
Click both your heels now, girly
Click both your heels now, girly

Last Seven Years (Oh W.T.F.) - !!!NEW!!!

Reading about the Civil War atm. Seems incredible that they went from 'we want to guide the king' to 'we want to control the king' to 'we want to kill the king' in the space of less than a decade - almost like a really bad hangover...

Last Friday Night Last Seven Years not by Katy Perry 
There's a feeling in my head,
And I’m slowly filled with dread
There is blood all round the room
And an air of darkened gloom
There’s a body on the floor
I can’t make out any more
Wait, I recognise that ring
OMG - think it’s the king!

Don’t know what went on
War went on too long
King’s dead?
No way!
Things got pretty rough
And somehow we took off his head
Woah

Last seven years
Yeah, we fought against the king
Wouldn’t let us do our thing
He needed remonstrating

Last seven years
Cromwell led us in our plot
Yeah, he helped to win the lot
Then we bought Charles from the Scots

Last seven years
We charged the king with treason
Can’t remember the reason
What’d we do to his person?

Last seven years
Yeah I think we won the war
Can’t remember any more
Op-oh-oh

Next seven years
Gonna win some more
Next seven years
Gonna win some more

Can’t believe what we have done
Monarchy is dead and gone
Know we wanted rid of Charles
Didn’t think it would go this far
Thought issues could be redressed
Then he fled from our arrest
This must have seemed rational
But how did we find the gall?

Don’t what went on
War went on too long
King’s dead?
No way
Things got pretty rough
And somehow we took off his head
Woah

Last seven years
Yeah, we fought against the king
Wouldn’t let us do our thing
He needed remonstrating

Last seven years
Cromwell led us in our plot
Yeah he helped to win the lot
Then we bought Charles from the Scots

Last seven years
We charged the king with treason
Can’t remember the reason
What’d we do to his person?

Last seven years
Yeah I think we won the war
Can’t remember any more
Op-oh-oh

Next seven years
Gonna win some more
(Gonna win some more)
Next seven years
Gonna win some more
(Gonna win some more)
Next seven years

Oh W.T.F.
Oh W.T.F.
Oh W.T.F.
Oh W.T.F.
Oh W.T.F.

Last seven years
Yeah, we fought against the king
Wouldn’t let us do our thing
He needed remonstrating

Last seven years
Cromwell led us in our plot
Yeah he helped to win the lot
Then we bought Charles from the Scots

Last seven years
We charged the king with treason
Can’t remember the reason
What’d we do to his person?

Last seven years
Yeah I think we won the war
Can’t remember any more
Op-oh-oh

Next seven years
Gonna win some more