Are you sitting comfortably, children? Then I'll tell you a different perspective of a classic children's book.
Beetle: Oi! Oi, you! Come here
Caterpillar: (mouth full) What?
Beetle: What have you been doing?
Caterpillar: Nothing. (swallows) Just been feeling a bit peckish.
Beetle: I see. So that’s why you’ve taken a bite out of 3 plums. And yesterday you had 2 pears. And the day before that it was an apple.
Caterpillar: Well, I’m hungry.
Beetle: No, you’re not. If you were hungry you’d have eaten all of it – not just taken a bite and moved on to the next thing. What you are is picky – you’re a very picky caterpillar.
Caterpillar: Sorry.
Beetle: And it’s a terrible waste of food – all that will have to be thrown away now. Just don’t do it again.
---
Beetle: Now look what did I tell you? Don’t do again I said. And what did you do? You bit four strawberries! Four!
Caterpillar: I’m just very hungry.
Beetle: Well, if you do it again you’ll be going to bed without supper. Now just behave.
---
Beetle: Oi! Where have you gone now? Hello! I know you’re here somewhere – there’s a trail of half-eaten food this way. There’s a…. and a … and a …. ! Come on. Come on out. Where are you? Oh.
Caterpillar: Hello.
Beetle: Hello. Can you help me? I’m looking for someone – he’s a caterpillar.
Caterpillar: Sorry. There’s no-one here but us butterflies.
Beetle: Oi! Oi, you! Come here
Caterpillar: (mouth full) What?
Beetle: What have you been doing?
Caterpillar: Nothing. (swallows) Just been feeling a bit peckish.
Beetle: I see. So that’s why you’ve taken a bite out of 1 apple, 2 pears, 3 plums, 4 strawberries, 5 oranges, one piece of chocolate cake, one ice cream cone, one pickle and one slice of Swiss cheese.
Caterpillar: Well, I’m hungry.
Beetle: No, you’re not. If you were hungry you’d have eaten all of it – not just taken a bite and moved on to the next thing. What you are is picky – you’re a very picky caterpillar.
Caterpillar: Sorry.
Beetle: And it’s a terrible waste of food – all that will have to be thrown away now. Just don’t do it again.
Caterpillar: Ok. <continues eating>
Beetle: Oi! What did I just say? Now you’ve gone a bitten a chunk out of one slice of salami and one lollipop.
Caterpillar: But I’m hungry.
Beetle: Don’t start that again. If you do it again you’ll be going to bed without supper. Now just behave.
Caterpillar: Ok.
TWO WEEKS LATER
Beetle: Where have you gone now? Hello! I know you’re here somewhere – there’s a trail of half-eaten food this way. Look at it – one piece of cherry pie, one sausage and one cupcake. And did you really need to take a bite out of one slice of watermelon? Come on. Come on out. Where are you? Oh.
Caterpillar: Hello.
Beetle: Hello. Can you help me? I’m looking for someone – he’s a caterpillar.
Caterpillar: Sorry. There’s no-one here but us butterflies.
