Sometimes I find my mind wandering over various eclectic topics and occasionally I am inspired to write some of them down. Today I was thinking about Love Actually.
Love Actually is one of the most popular Christmas films
ever. And personally, I can’t stand it. I like it when it first came out (who
doesn’t want a bit of romance at Christmas) but, the more you think about it,
the more problematic all of the relationships reveal themselves to be.
As I heard it described, it “treats infatuation as love… most
of the characters want sex and romance …rush into those with the hope of filling
in the relationship afterwards”.
Although some problems are more obvious than others, I’ve
listed them below to highlight just how wrong (or perhaps Disneyfied) their
associated messaging is.
Billy Mack & Joe
Story: Famous
singer treats his devoted manager terribly but then realises he’s in love with
him and surprises him with a spontaneous declaration
Message: You always get who you want regardless of how
you treat someone
Better journey:
The singer is respectful towards his colleague so any relationship between them
has a healthier basis (Unlike the majority of the other relationships in the
film, they have known each other for years)
Juliet, Peter &
Mark
Story: Man reveals
his secret crush on his best friend’s wife which she seems to reciprocate
Message: Be creepy
– it works – even if the object of your affections is married
Better journey:
Juliet shuts the door on Mark and tells Peter everything
Additional note: Keira Knightley
thought this was creepy and had to be repeatedly told by the director not to
reflect that in her face
Jamie & Aurelia
Story: Man and
woman fall in love despite not speaking each other’s language and, although he
leaves, he then goes back to propose to her
Message: Abandon
your family for a crush because love transcends the language barrier
Better journey: They
teach each other some of their own language (or ask for help to communicate) while
they’re together and build a relationship from there rather than going back
several months later (& hoping they’re both still available) and basing
your whole future prospects on that
Harry, Karen &
Mia
Story: Woman discovers
her husband has (at best) been flirting with his secretary – she keeps this
secret and stays with him
Message: Adultery
is acceptable although it might hurt your spouse
Better journey:
She leaves him (or better he reveals he didn’t succumb to the secretary’s
flirting)
Additional note:
Emma Thompson based her emotions in THAT scene on how she felt upon discovering
her 1st husband, Kenneth Branagh, cheated on her. Spoiler Alert: SHE
LEFT HIM!
David & Natalie
Story: Man and
woman develop mutual feelings but when she is approached by another he blames
her. Then we he realises he was wrong, goes and tracks her down (rather than
call???)
Message: If you
see your girlfriend with someone else, assume she’s cheating and punish her. Oh,
and fat shaming is ok
Better journey: He
asks her what happened so there’s no big declaration needed or track down required
and they can decide whether or not to pursue a relationship (if so, they can’t
work together)
Sam & Joanna
Story:
Young boy decides to impress his crush and when that fails chases her to the
airport
Message:
Pursue your crush and eventually they’ll notice you
Better
journey: Talk to her – that’s what he ended up doing anyway and it revealed a
shared attraction
Daniel & Carol
Story:
Widower meets the doppelganger of his celebrity crush
Message:
You get rewarded for being a good step-dad with a major hottie
Better
journey: The widower could just be a good step-dad (it’s just a year after his
wife passed away)
Additional
note: Liam Neeson’s wife, Natasha Richardson, sadly passed away in 2009 when
they were 57 and 45 respectively and he hasn’t found someone else – it is not
mandatory
Sarah & Karl
Story: Woman gets
a chance at a rendezvous with her crush – which is prevented by her brother
Message: Relatives
with mental health issues are cockblockers
Better journey: They
actually try to get to know each other so she can either realise he’s not the
man she thinks he is or he can decide to support her family situation
Colin & the girls
Story: Sex-starved
man goes to America and hooks up with multiple girls at once
Message: Objectifying
is rewarded (and trafficking is acceptable)
Better journey: Learn
his excuses for a lack of relationship in the UK are baseless and become a
better, more respectful person as a result
John & Judy
Story:
Extras on an adult film develop a romantic relationship
Message:
Love can found where you might least expect it
Better
journey: Hard to better this without being puritanical because this
relationship is based on communication rather than sex
Headmistress & Geraldine (Deleted
Scene)
Story:
A school headmistress is in a relationship with a terminally ill cancer patient
Message:
Love comes in many forms and can last for many years and through many tests
Better
journey: Include it in the film – it’s one of the least problematic relationships
and it was the one that got cut!
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