Saturday, 31 January 2026

From The Mind of Merc - Love Actually

Sometimes I find my mind wandering over various eclectic topics and occasionally I am inspired to write some of them down. Today I was thinking about Love Actually.

Love Actually is one of the most popular Christmas films ever. And personally, I can’t stand it. I like it when it first came out (who doesn’t want a bit of romance at Christmas) but, the more you think about it, the more problematic all of the relationships reveal themselves to be.
As I heard it described, it “treats infatuation as love… most of the characters want sex and romance …rush into those with the hope of filling in the relationship afterwards”.
Although some problems are more obvious than others, I’ve listed them below to highlight just how wrong (or perhaps Disneyfied) their associated messaging is. 

Billy Mack & Joe
Story: Famous singer treats his devoted manager terribly but then realises he’s in love with him and surprises him with a spontaneous declaration
Message:  You always get who you want regardless of how you treat someone
Better journey: The singer is respectful towards his colleague so any relationship between them has a healthier basis (Unlike the majority of the other relationships in the film, they have known each other for years)

Juliet, Peter & Mark
Story: Man reveals his secret crush on his best friend’s wife which she seems to reciprocate
Message: Be creepy – it works – even if the object of your affections is married
Better journey: Juliet shuts the door on Mark and tells Peter everything
Additional note: Keira Knightley thought this was creepy and had to be repeatedly told by the director not to reflect that in her face

Jamie & Aurelia
Story: Man and woman fall in love despite not speaking each other’s language and, although he leaves, he then goes back to propose to her
Message: Abandon your family for a crush because love transcends the language barrier
Better journey: They teach each other some of their own language (or ask for help to communicate) while they’re together and build a relationship from there rather than going back several months later (& hoping they’re both still available) and basing your whole future prospects on that

Harry, Karen & Mia
Story: Woman discovers her husband has (at best) been flirting with his secretary – she keeps this secret and stays with him
Message: Adultery is acceptable although it might hurt your spouse
Better journey: She leaves him (or better he reveals he didn’t succumb to the secretary’s flirting)
Additional note: Emma Thompson based her emotions in THAT scene on how she felt upon discovering her 1st husband, Kenneth Branagh, cheated on her. Spoiler Alert: SHE LEFT HIM!

David & Natalie
Story: Man and woman develop mutual feelings but when she is approached by another he blames her. Then we he realises he was wrong, goes and tracks her down (rather than call???)
Message: If you see your girlfriend with someone else, assume she’s cheating and punish her. Oh, and fat shaming is ok
Better journey: He asks her what happened so there’s no big declaration needed or track down required and they can decide whether or not to pursue a relationship (if so, they can’t work together)

Sam & Joanna
Story: Young boy decides to impress his crush and when that fails chases her to the airport
Message: Pursue your crush and eventually they’ll notice you
Better journey: Talk to her – that’s what he ended up doing anyway and it revealed a shared attraction

Daniel & Carol
Story: Widower meets the doppelganger of his celebrity crush
Message: You get rewarded for being a good step-dad with a major hottie
Better journey: The widower could just be a good step-dad (it’s just a year after his wife passed away)
Additional note: Liam Neeson’s wife, Natasha Richardson, sadly passed away in 2009 when they were 57 and 45 respectively and he hasn’t found someone else – it is not mandatory

Sarah & Karl
Story: Woman gets a chance at a rendezvous with her crush – which is prevented by her brother
Message: Relatives with mental health issues are cockblockers
Better journey: They actually try to get to know each other so she can either realise he’s not the man she thinks he is or he can decide to support her family situation

Colin & the girls
Story: Sex-starved man goes to America and hooks up with multiple girls at once
Message: Objectifying is rewarded (and trafficking is acceptable)
Better journey: Learn his excuses for a lack of relationship in the UK are baseless and become a better, more respectful person as a result

John & Judy
Story: Extras on an adult film develop a romantic relationship
Message: Love can found where you might least expect it
Better journey: Hard to better this without being puritanical because this relationship is based on communication rather than sex

Headmistress & Geraldine (Deleted Scene)
Story: A school headmistress is in a relationship with a terminally ill cancer patient
Message: Love comes in many forms and can last for many years and through many tests
Better journey: Include it in the film – it’s one of the least problematic relationships and it was the one that got cut!

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