Ok
- so the idea behind this one's pretty obvious but I still thought
potentially amusing given Henry's lackadaisical approach to marriage and
his children. And it was an excuse for me to go back to a favourite topic of mine - the Tudors.
Lawyer: Excuse
me – would you be
Henry Tudor?
Henry: I am.
And that’s King Henry the Eighth to you, sunshine.
Lawyer: Forgive
me, Mr. Eighth.
Henry: What can
I do for you?
Lawyer: Well,
actually, I’m from the Child Support Agency.
Henry: I’m sorry – what?
Lawyer: We’re a relatively new firm specialising
in establishing child support in the event of the parents’ divorce.
Henry: Really?
Lawyer: You do
realise now that that you’re on your third wife and that you’ve two children
from your previous wives?
Henry: Hey – that’s not fair – the first two
didn’t count.
Lawyer: Didn’t count?
Henry: Yeah – I was never
really married to them at all.
Lawyer:
According to who?
Henry: Me.
Lawyer: I see.
Well, I’m sorry, Mr. Eighth, but in the eyes of the law it
still counts as divorce and leaves you subject to child maintenance
responsibilities.
Henry: Oh, does
it now?
Lawyer: To be honest I’m surprised you’re in this mess. After all, did not you yourself say
in your own work that marriage should last forever?
Henry: It’s do as I say – not as I do.
Lawyer: Well,
that’s a poor system
of government.
Henry: Right!
<scribbles a document>
Lawyer: What
are you doing?
Henry: Just
passing a new law.
Lawyer: And
what one’s this one?
Henry: I think
I’ll call it the
Act of Succession
Lawyer: You’ve already
passed one of those.
Henry: This is
the new version – basically it says anyone who argues with my decision
is a traitor and should be executed.
Lawyer: Oh
dear.
Henry: Yes.
Guards!
<Guards
enter and arrest lawyer>
Henry: Send for
the Executioner!
Lawyer: Wait!
You can’t do this.
Henry: Hold on – let me check.
<flicks through law book> No – it’s fine.
Lawyer: Oh,
bugger.
<Axe slices
off head>
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